Cemetery says cultural events have been going on for a long time and help mourners deal
Letitia Stiller’s father died suddenly of an aneurysm when she was only six years old.
He didn’t work outside the home and was close with his family. Stiller has been going to his grave at Beechwood Cementry in Ottawa’s Vanier neighborhood at least twice a month since he died in 1994.
“I make sure it stays in good shape. “I always check on it,” she said. “I don’t really have anywhere else for him to go.”
But in July, a friend sent me a social media post about a free movie night at that place. Stiller couldn’t believe it, so she went there, took some pictures, and left.
“There were probably more than 200 people carrying lawn chairs up the steps, and kids were running around and doing somersaults on the grass between the graves,” she said.
“They set up a portable toilet. They sold food and drinks and rented out chairs. There was loud music coming from the speakers, and by “loud,” I mean “like a party.”
Since 2018, the Beechwood Cemetery has held regular movie nights with the help of Capital Pop-Up Cinema, which also shows movies on Sparks Street and in other public places.
But Stiller had never heard of it before.
“It’s less than 100 feet from where my dad’s body is laid to rest,” she said.
“Just not a good thing to happen.
Stiller’s worries have brought up questions about what kinds of cultural events should be held in places where people go to grieve and mourn.
Beechwood told CBC that the movie nights have always been held in a patch of green space behind the cemetery’s mausoleum.
Since it opened in 1873, the cemetery, which is Canada’s official national cemetery and where many RCMP and military members are buried, has been the site of many different events, such as historical walks, concerts, and plays.
The main building of CBC Ottawa, which also has sacred spaces, has been the site of a live book club.
Stiller said that she doesn’t have a problem with that event or any others that have to do with the history of the cemetery. But she thinks that people who have paid a lot to bury their loved ones deserve some respect.
“I don’t think a cemetery should be used for anything that goes above and beyond,” she said.
“It’s disgusting, to be honest. If my mom were there when it happened, she would be upset.”
Grief expert agrees 
One expert on grief agrees and thinks Beechwood should change its mind about the movie nights.
Stephen Fleming, a clinical psychologist and professor emeritus at York University in Toronto, said, “I just think there are some places we shouldn’t go.”
“You wouldn’t do it in a church,” he said.
Fleming said that people who want to hold a movie night at a cemetery could give more than one reason.
“Depending on the theme of the movie you’re showing, they might say it’s a unique experience, has historical significance, or gives you time to think,” he said, adding that they might also bring people to cemeteries, since data shows that fewer people are choosing traditional burials.
“I think that doing that might be good for business.”
Space is also for the living
But Beechwood Cemetery says there’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing.
Nicholas McCarthy, the cemetery’s director of marketing, communications, and community outreach, said that the space has been a part of the community for 150 years and has been used for events since the beginning.
McCarthy said that Beechwood is trying to make a place for the living and the dead to come together. Even though he’s heard complaints about a lot of things, like Remembrance Day events and joggers passing through, McCarthy said that only two people have complained about the movies.
He said, “Everyone has an opinion, and everyone grieves differently and has a different idea of what’s right.”
“Why is one person’s opinion more important than another’s? If 20 people tell me that these movie nights are good for their mental health and helping them get over their loss, but one person says it’s not, whose opinion is more important?”
Events provide connectio
McCarthy said he’s gotten a lot of good feedback from people who say the films helped them connect with the space or clear up what a cemetery is.
Isobel Walker concurs.
“People have been very emotional about it and shared their memories with us,” said Walker, who runs the company that puts on the movie nights.
Walker said that the nights give people who can’t see movies in a theater because of money or other reasons a chance to do so. She said that they do everything they can to be good stewards, like not letting people smoke or drink alcohol.
She remembered one time in particular when a woman was watching her.Back To The FutureIn the same spot where his father was buried, with her son.
“It was like [they were] watching it together as a family,” Walker said.
Stiller said that she had told Beechwood officials about her worries through email. She still wants to bury her mother there, and she is worried that the events will only get bigger.
She understands the desire to help the community, but she wishes there was a way to let people who have loved ones there know about these kinds of events and find out how many people are in favor of them.
McCarthy said that could be hard, since tens of thousands of people have been laid to rest in Beechwood.